Things I’ve learned from Infertility

I blinked and March is over and again, I’ve had TWO post this month – TWO!  I really did have the best of intentions to sit down and get inspired to write more and share more but with everything IVF going on in our world right now, it’s been hard to do that.

I had quite a few of you reach out to me with some questions about IVF and IUI.  I’m thinking of doing a Q &A so if you have questions, feel free to email them to me at – they’ll be anonymous on the blog so ask away!

I began thinking about our journey as we get prepared for this next step (and hopefully the end of our VERY long chapter to become parents) and reflected on everything I’ve learned over the last 2+ years. Despite all the uncertainties, I came to realize I actually have learned valuable lessons throughout this process.

The 10 things I’ve learned:

  1.  Patience: I am one of the most impatient people and this journey is all about patience. It’s not on our time and there’s a lot of waiting.  I have a hard time not knowing when it will happen and IF it will happen but I’m learning to “enjoy” the ride.  I grew up thinking of a timeline for when I’d get married and have babies but infertility has taught me that it doesn’t go by my agenda.  I know that when it does happen for us and we become parents, our journey will be exactly what it was meant to; and it will all be worth it! I’m still working on the whole patience thing for now though…
  2. You never know what someone is going through: Although someone may have a sweet smile on their face, it doesn’t mean there isn’t more going on in their life and they’re hurting. In fact, “sometimes the strongest ones around us are those who smile through the pain, cry behind closed doors and fight battles nobody knows about.” Be nice to everyone you meet and do me a favor, don’t ask “when are you having kids?!” because one day you’ll ask the wrong person at the wrong time.
  3. Relationships are number one! You need a good support system who is there when you want to talk about it, cry about it or vent.  Trials can bring you closer to those you love and help ease the heartbreak.
  4. Life is hard about 90% of the time.  It’s not fair. It’s heartbreaking and it just plain sucks. The trick is to start each day with gratitude for the good parts of life and remind yourself of those things over and over and over again throughout the day.
  5. Things do not always go the way we plan; in fact, it rarely does. If plan A doesn’t work, then we go to plan B or C… Luckily, there are a lot of letters in the alphabet. I’m hoping Plan B/C will be our answer!
  6. When life is too hard to stand, kneel; There is someone who is always ready to listen and knows EXACTLY what you are going through. He has your life planned out and knows the reasons for your trials.  Go to Him through prayer.
  7. Never, ever give up: There are times that I want to and there will be times that you DO but pick yourself up and try again.  And hope for a better outcome the next time.
  8. Choose to be happy: After you have a few hours minutes of tears, pick yourself up and carry on with a smile. Life is so much more than what you’re going through and always remember number 4; gratitude.
  9. You’re stronger than you think: Infertility is a funny thing; it makes you dig deep to find the strength to keep moving along everyday through all the medications, confusion, procedures, negative outcomes and the just plain unknown. After the last few years of “trying” I realize that all of my trials growing up have prepared me for this time in my life. It’s prepared me for the struggle we’re in now. I know I’m stronger because of all those times I didn’t understand and for all the times I still don’t understand.
  10. Everything happens for a reason: This has always been a quote in my head since I was  younger – anytime the bad stuff happened, it happened for a reason, right? This is the same situation – I know this is meant to be our journey and when we have that little one, we are going to be SO grateful but right now, we have to remember there’s always a reason for everything that happens, even if we don’t see the reason for a very long time.


10 thoughts on “Things I’ve learned from Infertility

  1. Nancy says:

    All so very true…I’ve been praying for you both and I’m always so thankful for having you two in my life!! Let me know if you need anything, besides prayers…I would appreciate a good reason to come visit you guys!!!
    Aunt Nanny

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rebecca @ Every Piece Fits says:

    God’s timing for everything/anything in our life rarely makes sense until we’re way past the trial. Two amazing books came to mind with your #1 point. “Anything, the Prayer that Unlocked my God and my Soul” [by Jennie Allen] changed me. It is profound, talking about how we have a scrapbook vision of what our lives should look like but that is not how God shapes us. Please, please read it. It helped me reflect on how I had the cookie cutter vision for my life with my first marriage and how I was not inline with His will for my life (praise Him for that and saving me too!) – I talk about it in my bio on my blog. The other book is “Surprised by Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected about Being a Mom” [by Lisa-Jo Baker]. She didn’t even want to be a mother! I listened to an interview on Focus on the Family and was reeled in by her journey of motherhood and the unexpected things her journey encountered. I’m keeping you and the hubby in prayer. XOXOXO

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Gentry Adams says:

    Friend- I am so sorry I somehow missed your original post about IVF. My best friend went through 4 years of trying to get pregnant and is now doing IVF so I know exactly what you are going through. The most important thing is trusting God’s timing (so hard I know!) and believing that he knows the perfect time/plan for you. One thing we heard & loved was along the lines of God having such a special plan for your child that the world isn’t ready for him/her yet; that the wait is for the perfect time for your baby to come into the world! I hope you can take some encouragement in that! I’ll be praying for y’all! XO

    Liked by 1 person

    • happilyevergriedls says:

      Thank you so much for your kind words! That is such a good way to think about it – trying to understand Gods plan is impossible but it’s comforting to know he has a special plan for us! Thank you for all the prayers – keep them coming 🙂


  4. Jenny Rhoades says:

    So very true! I grew a lot during our time with infertility. It was the worst six years of my life, but I’ve never grown so much as I did in my relationship with God and those around me. Praying for you. Thank you for bringing awareness to infertility.


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